Trip Advisor
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: Something in the back of her head was still telling her trusting Brian to advise them on travel websites might be a mistake but she wasn't going to think about it anymore she was going to focus on their fantastic dream holiday and hope the knot in her stomach was wrong.
1. Chapter 1

**Trip Advisor 1/3**

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:- **None

**Pairing:- **Sandra/Gerry

**Rating:- **T

**Achieve:- . /group/new_tricksff/**

**Summary:-** Something in the back of her head was still telling her trusting Brian to advise them on travel websites might be a mistake but she wasn't going to think about it anymore she was going to focus on their fantastic dream holiday and hope the knot in her stomach was wrong.

**Author's Note:- **Written for Gee's disastrous trip challenge where one or more character goes on a holiday that has a series of disastrous events.

"I'm not sure about this." Sandra sighed looking at the list of details written in the familiar spidery scrawl on the page in front of her.

"Look he no one knows the internet better than he does and he says this is where we should go so I say let's go there and see what they have to say." Gerry replied opening the lap top and waiting for it to boot up.

"Yeah I know but the internet may be his specialist subject worldwide travel is certainly not."

"Well that doesn't mean he doesn't know where to look just because he doesn't travel Esther does sometimes she goes on those little jaunts away with her sister and someone has to plan them I'd lay good odds it's Brian."

"I suppose I just don't know if we should completely trust him can you at least promise me that we'll think about checking some other places too?" Sandra continued as the first website on Brian's list and the brightly coloured beach umbrellas, sunbeds and cocktails briefly reminding her why they were doing this in the first place. Six months of completely dismal London weather combined with horrible cases and general disillusionment with life had prompted them to finally get around to booking two weeks holiday and planning to go somewhere with stunning weather and no need to focus on grime of any description. When Gerry had mentioned it in the office that day Brian had immediately jumped on the fact and come up with a list of what he assured them were the only places worth looking at to book a foreign holiday. Gerry of course thought that it would be a great idea to cut corners by following their friend's advice she though wasn't so sure. Brain was a genius but a very specific type of genius and travel further than a 50 mile radius of his home was not something he did. Ever. Which meant she was dubious about his expertise in showing anyone else how to book a holiday to anywhere or one any website.

"How can you doubt this I mean look at the ratings on this site and the reviews not to mention the prices are amazing you remember how much that travel agent quoted us at lunch time we'd need to have taken out a third mortgage let alone a second one to go on the trips he was quoting." He had a point for a fortnight in a five star all inclusive hotel in any area of Spain a sensible person would want to go to they were quoting thousands. While they were not exactly on the bread line they couldn't afford that sort of money for two weeks and the idea of down grading to self-catering or some crumby 3 star hotel just to fit into their budget didn't appeal at all.

"Ok yeah I'll admit it looks ok what sort of prices are you getting?" Sandra asked her eyes widening slightly as he turned the screen so she could see what he'd been doing and the exact hotel they had fallen in love with that afternoon and were sure was out of their reach filled the screen. "We can't afford that place why are you even looking at it?"

"Correction, we couldn't afford it at the rip off travel agent price, we can by using this site to cut out the middle man." Gerry smiled scrolling down the screen to the price break down with the total for two people sharing on an all-inclusive basis including flights.

"That can't be right Gerry you must have entered something wrong give it to me." Sandra laughed finding it impossible to believe that the price which was almost a third of what they had already been quoted could possibly be right. Entering all the relevant details herself ensuring that she made sure the correct hotel name was in place, the dates they wanted to go, the fact they wanted all-inclusive were all correctly entered then hitting the "find my price" button only to have the price reappear not at the one that he had been quoted but one that was in fact £50 less.

"See! It's minute by minute deals they expire in 20 minutes from the time you're given the price so it's a chance you take if we don't book now and check back again in an hour it might be a little less but it might also be twice as much. What do you think?" Gerry smiled his excitement radiating from him as she briefly considered their options. If they went ahead and booked it then they risked missing a better deal on another site but if what he was saying was right, and it appeared to be, then they could risk more by not taking the deal while it was offered. "Come on Sandra we're not going to get anything better value than that and it's the locations, hotel and flights we wanted what more do you want?"

"Ok, yeah ok let's do it." She smiled handing the laptop back to him as he carried on confirming the booking and putting in the payment details.

"Done let's print it and put it on the fridge it'll be motivation each morning when we're getting up and trying to wake up with our twelfth cup of coffee." Gerry grinned hitting the print button and going upstairs to get the printout from the wireless printer in the study as she glanced at the screen again. She still couldn't believe that it had been so easy. In the space of twenty minutes they'd managed to blow the travel agent's price out of the water, book the holiday, pay for it and get the confirmation and it all seemed too good to be true. Something in the back of her head was still telling her trusting Brian to advise them on travel websites might be a mistake but she wasn't going to think about it anymore she was going to focus on their fantastic dream holiday and hope the knot in her stomach was wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

Trip Advisor 2/?

"The board's saying delayed until 22:30 but I asked at the desk and the girl said it could be later than that, some problem with the change over when it landed so god knows how long we'll have to wait." Gerry sighed sitting back own on the uncomfortable seat beside Sandra as she groaned with frustration.

"What about our arranged transfers when we get to the other side did you ask her about that? Will it wait until the plane gets in I'm sure we're not the only people on this flight who are supposed to meet a hotel transfer when we get there." Sandra asked glaring at him as he paused seeming unwilling to answer her question. "Gerry spit it out what did she say?"

"She checked our booking and says there are no transfers on it, that they are not booked and when I said we had everything included on our online booking and showed her the print out she…..well she…" Gerry muttered the idea of passing on what the overly cheerful girl at the Flybe desk had told him not being something he relished.

"Gerry you better tell me what she said and do it quickly because I'm starting to lose my temper now." Sandra snapped the knot that had been in her stomach when they had taken Brian's recommendation when booking returning as Gerry stared at his feet.

"She just said that transfers are unreliable over there but that it's only a 20 euro taxi ride from the airport to the hotel so it's not a big deal."

"And that's all she said? Why do I feel like you're not telling me something?" Sandra replied her eyes narrowing suspiciously at him as he stood up again refusing to meet her eyes.

"We're stuck here for now anyway how about we get some dinner there's a nice place over there that does traditional pub grub and we could have a drink too you're far too tense for someone going on holiday you need a drink." He smiled lifting both their hand luggage bags and walking in the direction of the small restaurant at the other side of the terminal before she had a chance to question him further.

"Gerry I'm nipping to the ladies you get us a table." She called as he nodded allowing the smiling girl just inside the restaurant to show him to a table, sitting at the side of it that ensured he would see her when she came back from the bathroom before pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialling Brian's number.

"Gerry aren't you supposed to be on a plane right now?" Esther said when she answered the phone and he quickly glanced around ensuring that Sandra hadn't sneaked up on him before replying.

"Yeah we are but it's delayed, is he there Esther I really need to talk to him."

"He's out with Jack if it's urgent I'm sure Jack has his mobile with him. Has something happened is Sandra ok?" Esther replied as he sighed and shook his head.

"For now she is but I don't know how long that's going to last when I went to check on the flight and showed the girl behind the desk out online booking she all but laughed in my face. She's already told me the company is well known for not having promised transfers at the airport when you get to the other side and she says she'd heard terrible reports about them not booking people into the hotels they were supposed to be in I need to know where he got the website and if you've used it."

"You took holiday recommendations from Brian? Gerry please tell me you're joking what were you thinking?" Esther said the note of panic in her voice not helping him in the slightest. "Even I don't let Brian get involved when I'm going away with the girls he falls for every online advert going. I can't believe Sandra agreed to let you book something on a site he gave you."

"She didn't, well she did but only because I told her it would be ok.. Shit Esther what am I going to do now?" Gerry asked as he saw Sandra come out of the ladies on the other side of the terminal.

"Pray would be my advice." Esther replied as he hung up and put the phone back in his pocket just in time for Sandra to join him at the table.

"Are you going to tell me now what the girl at the check in desk actually said or are we going to play guess the crisis all night?" Sandra asked giving him her best "give it up or you'll regret it" stare as she did.

"She was just surprised about our hotel resper4vations she said it's a lovely hotel but they have a bit of a problem with lizards apparently she's always hearing about those little ones that are everywhere in Spain getting into people's beds and showers and stuff." He muttered hoping once again that she would just let it drop so that he could try to think of some way to put it right if need be when they got there.

"I hate lizards or any reptile for that matter you know that!" Sandra replied wrinkling her nose and understanding at last why he was so reluctant to tell her. "Why wasn't that in any of the reviews online."

"I don't know but she told me so long as you don't leave the windows open when you're out of the room you're fine. We'll be careful and if we do get one inside I'll save you from it!" Gerry smiled breathing a sigh of relief as she appeared to accept his explanation for now. For the rest of the evening he was pretty sure he had got away with it but that wasn't going to help if they got off the plane and arrived at their 5 star hotel to find that they hadn't been booked in. If that happened he didn't think there'd be any way to save the situation nor his life for that matter.


	3. Chapter 3

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

Trip Advisor 3/?

"Gerry I don't like this I mean when was the last time you got on a plane for a three hour journey that looked like it was held together by sticky tape and chewing gum?" Sandra asked putting the seatbelt that was attached to her seat by slightly fraying edge on. When their flight had been call he'd finally thought things were changing for the better. It hadn't been delayed as long as they had expected it to be and that fact alone had improved Sandra's mood, that was until they actually saw the plane now she was on a whole new rant and he couldn't blame her.

"Look it is just in need of a bit of a spruce up it has to be safe or wouldn't be allowed to fly there are regulations and stuff planes have to pass." He said trying to smile reassuringly as he glanced around the plane and realised they weren't the only ones concerned by the state of the plane.

"I thought we'd be flying BA or even something we'd heard of like Easy Jet at a push but I've never heard of Tiger Air. I mean what the hell?" Sandra snapped her panic rising as she watched the cabin crew go down the aisle closing the overhead lockers and ensuring they all had their seatbelts on. Even their uniforms looked like they'd seen better days she was sure at one point they may have been a vibrant green now though they looked like they had had one too many visits to the dry cleaners and it only added to the general shabbiness of the whole situation.

"It's 3 hours Sandra then we'll be in the sun for two whole weeks and we'll be able to chill out, eat too much, drink too much and catch up on all that "us" time we've missed because work has been so busy." Gerry sighed as the crew began their safety demonstration and for the first time in his life he actually paid attention.

"If we get there at all I swear if we die on this plane I'm going to haunt Brian Lane for the rest of his days." She muttered rooting around in her handbag and putting on her headphones as the plane levelled out and she knew at least they'd made it into the air.

"Excuse me can you tell me has everyone on this plane booked with the same online tour company?" Gerry asked when he was sure Sandra had fallen asleep and a surly looking ait stewardess walked past their seats for the first time in the hour they'd been in the air.

"You book with what Travel web?" The moody looking girl sighed her broken English and lack of the usual Mediterranean laid back jolliness not increasing his confidence at all.

"Cocktails on the beach dot com. Is everyone on the plane travelling with them?"

"Cocktails on the beach dot com? You book with that on web? No sir, no if others book with that dot com they mad. You stay where when you arrive?"

"The Alcanada Towers it's a 5 star and we're all inclusive so it should be fine surely the operator can't be that bad? The reviews were great." Gerry whispered the new amusement in the girls eyes as she beckoned to her colleague talking in Spanish to him as she burst into giggles.

"Mr….?"

"Standing." Gerry replied glad to hear that the new addition to the discussion appeared to have an English accent.

"Ok Mr Standing if what Rouchel has just told me is true I think maybe we need to have a chat. Is your wife aware there may be an issue?" The young man asked rolling his eyes as Gerry pointed out he and Sandra weren't married and that she didn't know anything. "Then maybe we should go down to the empty seats at the back of the plane then you can decide yourself how to break it to her and when you do maybe it would be better if we'd landed we try to discourage domestics on the plane."

"Ok now that we're out of ear shot of Sandra can you tell me exactly how much trouble I'm in here mate?" Gerry said quietly as they reached the back of the plane and he was handed a small bottle of Scotch and a glass of ice from the trolley.

"Have that one on us Mr Standing I have a feeling you're going to need it. I'm Jason by the way tell me what you booked with Cocktails and I'll tell you what you're likely to get because it should really be called "cockups" on the beach." Jason smiled sitting across the aisle from Gerry as he went down the list of high class things they were supposed to be getting with their booking.

"the girl at the airport has already told me we can kiss goodbye to our transfers and she wouldn't tell me anything about the hotel but I could tell from the look on her face that I shouldn't expect to see what I'm hoping for." Gerry sighed downing the Scotch in his hand as Jason sighed too and it was obvious that he was trying to think of the most diplomatic way to say what he needed to. "Just tell me mate Sandra won't sleep the whole journey and if she wakes up and sees me down here talking to you it won't be a domestic you have to worry about it'll be a murder."


	4. Chapter 4

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

Trip Advisor 4/?

"Look I don't want you to think we're being over dramatic or anything we just want you to be prepared because it's going to be late when you get there and it's unlikely you'll be able to do anything but stay at the Alcanada assuming that you are ever booked in so you should be ready for what you might see." Jason said quietly as he followed Gerry's gaze to a still sleeping Sandra at the other side of the plane.

"Just give it to me straight however bad it is I'd rather know so I'm prepared because she'd going to go mad when we get there she didn't want to book with that site in the first place so I'm already screwed." Gerry sighed still not quite believing he'd got himself into the mess he had by listening to Brian.

"The hotel is a disaster area I don't know why any tour operator is using it even one as crap as Cocktails but like I said they may not be actually making the bookings. The last time we had a couple on a flight that were supposed to be booked into another hotel they got there and had never been booked in in the first place. At 2am they arrived at the Costa Bronco resort and weren't booked in they had to spend the night in the hotel lobby then find a hotel that did have room for them the next day." Jason continued making Gerry's heart sink completely.

"Ok so assuming we're actually booked into the place is it really that bad?"

"Look sit right as second Susan is on galley duty tonight she has actually stayed there once for a night." Jason sighed getting up and going behind the small curtain that the drinks trolley had come from behind earlier.

"God we're in real trouble here Standing if this keeps up you'd be better just staying at the airport and getting the next flight home she's going to batter you either way." Gerry muttered to himself staring down the plane again to where Sandra was still sleeping. The holiday was so important to them, they needed it, they'd been working hard and not getting nearly enough time together. He had wanted it to be perfect and now it looked like it was all going to be a complete disaster he didn't know how she was going to cope with it falling apart and wasn't sure how he was either.

"Mr Standing?" A pretty young woman said sitting in the chair Jason had just vacated.

"Gerry please, you must be Susan?"

"Yeah look before we talk about the Alcanada and Cocktails on the Beach take this address I have friends how live close by, I'll call them when we land and tell them they might have house guests for the night so if you get to the place and aren't booked in or if your partner and yourself really can't face staying for the one night they'll happily put you up so you can look for somewhere else tomorrow." Susan smiled handing him a small square of paper with an address and phone number on it.

"They'd really do that?" Gerry asked the idea that someone he'd never met might be prepared to do something so nice for him and Sandra being the first ray of hope since the check in clerk had reacted so negatively when she'd heard their plans.

"Yes they will look I know your head must be all over the place right now but I stayed at the Alcanada on a three day layover last year. Paulo and Sabrina met me in the small bar they run crying into the corner into my glass of wine because I couldn't stand the thought of going back there even for two more nights after having stayed there the first night. They told me to get my stuff and let me use their spare room for those two night and we've been friends ever since." Susan explained "It's not a good place, it's badly cared for, there have been several cases of food poisoning and the last thing I heard the Spanish equivalent of the department of health are planning on closing it down so I wouldn't expect my worst enemy to stay there. As for cocktails on the beach they are a pack charlatans when you get back contact trading standards and lodge a complaint that's what we've been advising anyone on our flights going home with stories of messed up trips to do. I really hope you get things sorted and have a good holiday we'll see you on your return flight."

"Thanks, I mean not just for letting me know what to expect but for this." Gerry said holding up the paper with the address on it as he got up and headed back down the plane toward Sandra as she stirred from her sleep.

"Where were you and what's that?" She asked stretching in her seat before staring at him suspiciously for a moment. "Gerry what's going on and don't say nothing this time I know there's something."

"Ok look don't freak out ok?" Gerry sighed sitting in his seat and refastening his seatbelt for what he was sure was about to be a very bumpy landing, bumps that would have nothing to do with how the pilot brought the plane down.


	5. Chapter 5

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

Trip Advisor 5/?

"Gerry what do you mean don't freak out, what's going on?" Sandra snapped looking around the plane to where the other passengers were following the announcement to fasten their seatbelts and put their tray tables away in preparation for landing. "Is there something wrong with the plane? Surely I haven't been asleep for long enough for us to be landing why is everyone putting their seatbelts on? I told you this plane was a death trap oh god we're going to die in a bloody puddle hopper held together by elastic bands and masking table and….."

"Sandra shut up!" He said quietly but firmly as he felt her panic levels peak. "there's nothing wrong with the plane you have been asleep for ages we've arrived look out you'll see the airport and landing lights."

"Ok, yeah ok, I can see it." Sandra sighed looking out of the small window and seeing the Spanish airport lit up beneath them and breathing deeply with relief. She'd immediately been sure that they were about to plummet to their deaths and now that she realised they weren't she remembered the comment that started the panic to begin with. "So why would I freak out then? What's going on and why were you talking to the cabin crew? Is this about the lizards again?"

"In part but from what I've been told the wild life is likely to be the least of our problem." Gerry muttered enjoying the short moment of reprieve as she was distracted by the plane landing and everyone rushing to get to the doors.

"If you go straight out of the terminal there'll be a rank of taxis waiting just give them the hotel address when you get in and they'll know where they're going." Jason smiled his eyes saying "I'm rooting for you" as they both saw Sandra's eyes narrow suspiciously.

"Thanks mate see you on the way back." Gerry replied as they climbed down the plane steps and made their way to the baggage claim.

"Gerry I'm starting to get really pissed off now, why was that guy so sure that our transfer wouldn't be there and we'd need a cab?" Sandra whispered angrily as they watched the conveyor belt start and bags begin going slowly past.

"Let's get our bags then we'll talk I promise." He sighed grabbing first her case then his off the belt and putting them onto the trolley before starting to walk away having taken a dozen steps before he realised she wasn't following him. "Sandra come on I've got both bags."

"I'm not moving another step until you tell me what the hell is going on Gerry. This has been a nightmare since we arrived at Heathrow you've been sneaking around and whispering with check in clerks and air stewards and now you're stalling so I know something is going on and I'm not moving a single step until you tell me!" Sandra replied folding her arms over her chest as if to prove the point as he stopped pushing the trolley and pointed to a bench against the wall of the arrivals lounge.

"Ok look sit down and let me talk before you blow your top and remember all my sneaking around as you call it may just have found a way to make things better." He said with what he hoped was a reassuring smile as they sat down. "When we were at Heathrow the check in clerk seemed pretty amazed when I told her where we were staying but she wouldn't say anything about why. She just said not to expect our transfer to be here and when I asked about the hotel all she said was she'd no stay there."

"So she didn't mention Lizards? Jesus Gerry if you thought there might be something wrong with the hotel why did you let us get on the plane?" Sandra asked the slight nerves she'd been feeling turning into a wave of nausea as he refused to look at her.

"I thought she was over reacting but when I spoke to Jason on the plane…."

"Jason?"

"The guy who said about the taxis when we were getting off the plane. He asked what site we'd book with and when I told him he as good as said we were screwed that….."

"Bloody Brian!" Sandra shouted causing a few of the others around them to turn and stare as she lowered her voice again glaring at Gerry with undiluted fury. "I told you it was too good to be true I bloody well told you there was something now right about that site but you knew best! So what are we looking at? Do they take your money and put you up somewhere in some no star hotel instead? Are we going to get to our gorgeous 5 star hotel only to find we're booked in next door to some shit hole?"

"No, no it's not that it's…..well it's more about our gorgeous 5 star hotel." Gerry muttered as she growled with frustration.

"Just tell me Gerry and do it quickly." She snapped "You're already a dead man walking right now you're just prolonging the agony for both of us."


	6. Chapter 6

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

Trip Advisor 6/?

"Ok it's probably better if I just tell you but don't say anything until I've finished ok and remember I've been trying to sort this out the entire flight." Gerry sighted the fury that danced in her eyes making his stomach knot tightly. "Will you let me tell you without jumping in again?"

"Ok but you have five minutes Gerry so stop messing about and just tell me." Sandra agreed already mentally calculating how long they might have to sit around in the airport to get a flight home if what he told her was bad enough to warrant it. She knew the minute he opened his mouth and started explaining it would be a battle not to interrupt, especially if it was as bad as he was implying but she had to keep her promise at least for five minutes or he'd never tell her.

"Apparently this "cocktails on the beach" site is a load of shit. Transfers aren't the only thing they screw up. Jason, the guy from the plane, says the Hotel Alcanada is awful, it's dirty, the food is shite, people get food poisoning regularly, they actually think it might be closed because apparently the Spanish equivalent of environmental health have been trying to close them down. Not only that but sometimes people who've paid the site for a booking have got to the hotel and not been booked in at all." Gerry explained bracing himself for the onslaught of anger he was expecting as he took a break to get his breath back.

"This isn't happening. I'm still asleep on that horrible bloody plane and in a minute I'm going to want up and this will all be over." She muttered shocking him with the calm in her voice as she did.

"Sweetheart I was it was a dream but unfortunately it's not. Anyway Jason got one of the other cabin crew to come and talk to me and she confirmed what he'd said. She actually stayed in the Alcanada for one night and she was so upset she was taken under the wing of some people who own the local bar. They put her up for the second night of her lay over. She gave me their address, she's going to call them and tell them we might need a bed for tonight and we can look for a different hotel tomorrow. We….."

"Wow stop right there. I am not going to get into a taxi with some random Spanish driver to be dropped off in the middle of the night at a hotel that might be open or might have been shut down and which is a hell hole even if it hasn't been." Sandra interrupted shaking her head in disbelief as she did. She could believe what she was hearing, he actually thought they should just carry on to the hotel and then wing it from there! Well if was time he had a wakeup call because she had no intention of leaving the airport unless it was on a plane heading back to Heathrow. "You're out of your mind, we're going home, we're going to book a flight with an airline that doesn't have planes which look like they are held together by chewing gum and elastic bands. Then when we get home I'm going to hunt down Brian fucking Lane and make him regret the day he was born. I warned you that the priced on that web site were too good to be legit but did you listen to me? Like hell you did."

"We've got the address and it might not be as bad as they say I mean if environmental health got involved it may have been overhauled it could be gorgeous just like the pictures."

"Bollocks! I mean it's Gerry I'm not leaving this airport there has to be a plane heading back to England tonight. All I know is that I don't care how long I have to wait we're going home am I making myself clear here that if I can't get home I will make sure that both you and Brian's lives are a living hell for the foreseeable!" Sandra replied her tone getting eerily clam as she did. "Find a booking agent and do it now. I am going to find a ladies and freshen up and when I get back you better have tickets to get us home!"


End file.
